Back at last

Welcome back to me^^
been away from all contact for so so long. haha
Really glad to be back for some rest.

Happy holiday at last

Post the things later/ tomorrow

Feeling way too dizzy now

Need a rest soon.

bye

Way Over Its Prime

I am referring to the laptop that I am using. It's model is HP pavilion dv1000. Bought it 4-5years back and the first user was my father.

This is actually a very nice laptop to begin with. It has great graphic resolution and super elegant cover. During its time, it can be considered a computer envied by others. But as time passes, new development came. Therefore, even such a great computer struggle to survive.

The computer is still running on Pentium M 1.70 GHz with 256MB RAM with the internal fan malfunctioning. (Please note, new computer are now running with dual Core and Core2due minimum with a minimum of 1GB RAM). Whoa, that makes this computer sound really way down the line.

I am glad that it is still functioning. Not knowing when it will fail. But having that amount of lifespan and that battery can still stand more than 2 hours gives me a satisfying feeling. It feels like accomplishment of a milestone.

But my patience is now running low. The unavailability to cope with latest software is limiting the function of this computer. The amount of things I have done with it for the previous two years have really been hurting it. Running over 10 hours a day and running software it barely able to support. The sound produced by the processor really is scarier as time pass. And to me, I have to be so very patient for it to function.

OMG!!!!!! What am I trying to type here!!!!!!! Sigh…. I just want to say “I need a NEW Computer”.

Thanks.

The long wait

Its November at last. 1st of all, there will b two more test paper. but it will b on the 9 and 12. 1 week wait. sigh...

I wish to be going home, but due to some reason, i am staying back in the uni(most of the time alone) for the week. really hate it, as next exam is still a week away after waiting for 4 days already. haih...

but luckily, after the exam ends, i do not need to wait long for my trip. Looking forward to it. don't really know what to expect and so on. and after the trip have 18 days back home to relax. That is really the main incentive of the month. all at the end of it. So what i have to do is to continue waiting.

So at the mean time, there is a few things to get done with. At the top of it, studying real well for the last two exam. doing a very good slide presentation for my trip on " food & Culture" although our main task is to share our knowledge in our respective field. then to prepare my belonging for the trip and finally to clean up my room for the holiday. So lets do it.

To all of you there, continue working smart and hard. don't give up. And to my surprise the long wait to have a former classmate getting married at last. So, there should be much more coming up soon. really can't wait to see what is hold in the future. hehe...

Its getting real cold now. i have been in here over 3 hrs. hope to get this photo done with then go back to the room soon. Good luck everyone. bye

Since Raya holiday

hi again, at last i am free to blog from my room. hehe....

Its been awhile, since this free wireless line in uni has gone missing from my room mysteriously. but now. hehe...

At last, i had finish all my assignment. gratz to me. maybe some was not done well enough. but at least i think i tried my best. but i guess i really need to improve the way i am handling the assignment. Especially those group assignment. but one thing 1st, a new computer has to come soon. Especially with more computer work coming in the final 1 and half years.

About handling group assignment, i had adopt and passive role the whole sem. standing back, letting other in-charge and giving the task. this passive role work well when the group start work fast. else its bad. guess have to start being more active soon.

Alright, its study week soon, and i'll be going back with few task in hand. 1stly, i need to get my passport done. then head on to get my visa done. for a trip to china. with my robocon teammates. should be the last time i'll be travelling with them.

Then i have to come back and complete my final examination before heading to china. yay. Then i have my sem break for myself.

Haih.., so much more to type. feel like the topic is going hay wire. so better stop here. keep u update soon. feel free to call me, for those who have my phone no. else, get to know me then i giv u the number.^^

September

Oh no its September and i just realize i have not type any post for the month. So now let me begin.

Tmr will be CCM birthday, then class continues. The plan for the month include Raya holidays for the malay friends *Selamat Hari Raya* and the rest Happy Holiday.

For the holiday i would be back on 16 Sept since all my class was call forward and cancel. So before going back, there would be things to get done with.

1. My project have to be done to about 60%
2. Assignment must be hand in before 16/9
3. Revise everything once by next week.
and ... (can't think of anything now, but that is big bunch of things already)

So being home means i need to take some of my work home so i don't waste the spare time too.
haih... doubt i'll ever try to hold up my book. hehe...

So guys Happy Holiday. In holiday mood ady.

Oh, one more thing, next weekend is Robocon Weekend again. most likely my last.
So just hope i enjoy the time.
Wish u guys all the best. win the next year competition for the Uni.

can't wait to be back home

hi guys. after a hell of a week with exam. its finally time to say home sweet home. this week will be time to get the result and prepare to go home. yay!!! the 1st exam finish last Thursday, then i spend the spend the pass 3 days out of 4 by going for badminton and jogging. i was feeling the pain on Saturday, but have recover by now.

I am also very anxious for my exam result. want to see how did i do. i am guessing it should be way better then the last semester where i did not even touch my books. let just wait and see if it work out.

Finally, being back home. i have not been home for almost a month. i know being back home, my bed will be full of my brother's clean cloths. haih... need them to go keep it. but what i really want is to hold someone realy tight and close to me. there is also the house computer. where is so much better to use compare to this one here. :p.

I am not sure who else am i going to meet this time. but just hope to have a relaxing time back home. p.s i have one more project to complete before going back. let home i can get it done soon.

Today and class

This morning there was a class. A class in the end where nothing was learn. This was because we were going to have a test on another subject tonight. so, because of that, the class was shorten by an hour.

So what about those ppl that want to listen to the class? p.s tmr we will be having the test for that particular subject. My coursemate, my friends, all of them want to have the class cancel. All they wanted from the class was tips for exam. then what is the lecture for?

There is one thing i would like to say about this lecture(traffic engineering), he is a nice a good guy. always wanting to help others in all ways. but there is one thing about his teaching style. He only go with the flow. but i really want to see him taking a stand, proof that he is there to teach well and not allowing the class to dominate he from actually giving a lecture.

To you guys, please think for yourself. engineering is a professional course. if you aren't smart to get out of thinking exam 1st. then you'll be falling into the malaysian mind, short sight.

I dont know why i am posting this. is just that i don't like those guy. i don't hate them or anything. please forgive me if i say too much wrongly. i just wanted to post what i think. thank u

Micheal Scofield in Class

Welcome to read my blog. Let me tell u about my class this two day. Its the 1st time we have to see him for 5 hour in less then 24 hour. because there was a replacement class yesterday night. It was a special night edition class. Firstly, we was not in his formal shirt, secondly he brought his guitar along to class. it was like attending a concert with a break to teach theory structural in the middle of it.

During the 2 hour class, 45min was use to hear him singing while playing the guitar. Then continue with his dynamic style of teaching. Addition to that the class was really cold with the air-cond and heavy rain during the noon. So far its one of the most interesting class ever in university.

The thing i really like about him is he don't like student being exam-oriented. He always used that word on few of them. It really meant something, if you are only studying for exam purpose, what is the use of studying? Take it seriously, because that is the problem in our country.

SO, to you guys out there, good luck in everything you are doing. hope you will understand the problem of being exam oriented. Good luck.

To you guys, i'll be going back to KL at the end of this month, mayb during the merdeka week. So hoping to see you guys soon. Take care, and protect urself from influzae A H1N1.

August at last

It is august, I am now 22. I went back home last week after a last minute decision. Although being back home, I didn’t have any cake as expected. But being backed home was really a great way to relax from university life. Life here is like being stuck to a routine, waking up daily, going to class, assignment and etc.
Because is august, I wont be seeing any holiday for at least one month (earliest merdeka day). There will be also test and assignment to be handing in through out the month. It really seem to be a busy month ahead.
On the 20th, there will be the result of my bridge competition selection, then there is the robocon workshop selection to attend, countless test paper to take, and not to forget that being away from home for a long time.
Being back home bring back comfort to me, and I really like being home compare to here. Life here really suck, have to control spending, looking at the same wall everyday, waiting for class & etc.
I really wish to get on with life soon. Beginning to hate study, especially in local university. Feel like being spoon feed just to pass and nothing learn for the future. Understanding it myself, and special guides seem to work better. Haih…
I miss home.

Uni without Robocon

Into my 3rd year, its the 1st time after 3 semester that i do not have robocon task or duty to undergo. life seem to be so much more relax. after going to class, the other time is to spend it for myself "wisely". This extra freedom seem to make me more a couch potato, always sitting in front the computer playing card games, looking through books a while, back trying out the internet. Life seem much more bored. Though i am now having a few project in hand. but most of them is not time to start yet.

btw, i am attending a bridge competition this year. its a different project from robocon. As weight is a critical point and we will also be evaluated on our presentation. So it will be really a great way to learn something new.

Other then those, i been trying to keep up on my study. Especially the things i was suppose to learn last term. it was my worst term so far, and i was just skipping through the whole semester. Doing this has make me realise i am losing out on education with the way i am studying. For the previous 2 year, i have not look into any text book. That means i was only studying from lecture notes, which is not the right way to study.

and by comparing whatever i learn from the notes and text book, i found out how much the lecture modify their lectures to ease the understanding, therefore touching less on the advance technical skill.

I now only hope i really understand those. the world does not only have one university, there is plenty more of challenge out there. There is really much more to do to survive. So, its time to study hard while study smart.

Thanks for reading
PL

Computer & Games

Hi, back blogging again. To day is the 1st weekend i am spending back in the university. With friends not back and fairly lag of assignment or anything to do. So lets hear how i wasted my time back in the room.( now hearing canon in d )

Today, there was only one thing i have know i can do playing fb. There was 2 new games(kungfu-pet & barn buddy)i started playing this week as the others game was unable to load by my fairly slow computer. Come to think of it, its kind of wasting time. its a really bore game anyway. nothing exciting at all(not like need for speed or dota), so how can i play those games. haih...

I downloaded 1 book and fail to download a few others(quite disappointing actually, as it was downloading until 5x%), and hoping to get another one or 2 more books to start referring.

Guess its that for now. all the sudden i am totally blank. hehe...

1st week back in Uni.

1st week of this semester is about to end and what a different it was from the last one. I am having a new room( the last one the wall was bad but this time the floor is bad. Then having a new roommate( the last one was weird and hard to predict, but this one .

This semester, most of my lecturer will be in the morning except for Tuesday. glad it is that way. addition to that, i'll only need to wake up early on Wednesday. The others day class only start at 10 or later. Yay^^

As for this week, I still miss being at home. Its still kind of bored in the noon n night. So far Yee Keat was the only one had dinner with me(not to miss out his roommate). Most of my Chinese's course mate are not back. So there are really not much activity to do :(.

To my lecture this semester, there is one who think he is the smartest person in the world at 32( thinking he is Scofield or Dr.House ), really scare of him. Then there will be only 1 lady to teach me this semester, and her face is only smiling all the time, and been telling lots of unrealated story in her 1st class. haih... To the rest, i think i'll keep it to elaborate it another time. Don't really have much about them yet.

And one really funny thing, i got back here on Tuesday 11am. And the 1st class that the lecture came in was that class, and so to every class after that. hehe...

Good luck to u all too^^

University Again

Its time to be back in University. Leaving those things i love the most back home. For the pass few weeks. time was great, away from lonely life and so on. actually i don't being at a unknown place, especially with out all my usual mates around me.

Come to think about it. its kind of opposite of Harry Potter. He has always in fav of going back to Hogwarts. Being back here, there feels so much more things to do, so much lesser freedom. Time like this make me want someone familiar to talk to.(now in the room with the new roommate not sure where to begin, especially he has his group of friends and me with my group(90% back next week).

Tomorrow, class will only begin at 11 for a hour. What else am i going to do? Tonight i'll be having dinner alone n sleeping with a new roommate. and now not having much mood to leave my bed. Dont know what to do at all. Sigh.......

Breakfast n Sunway

Yesterday was such a pack day. we(yl n me) had our morning jog and then went to Sunway with SY n PY after lunch.

Going out jogging was so fun. get all sweaty n so on(but please exclude that we have to force ourselves to wake up early :p. After the jog, we head to McDonald for tje breakfast special. its kind of little, but enough to feel up our stomach for the time being :). Then only head back to her house for her to take her bath.

While i was there, i was hearing her mum talking with her cousins talking about local university etc.. After awhile, i heard someone was coming down from the stairs. She was coming down. she look very stunning n beautiful. i was lost of words, wanted to hug her there n then, but have to hold it, because ... I also remember her mum asking, u are going like this? But not one reply that. then i eyes was just following her all around the house. in my mind i was thinking, she told me she wont be wearing that dress that morning(but i more or less guess that), she never wear sleeveless blouse or even dress without a blouse(but i wanted it for quite sometime :p ) and wishing i can fast hug u, just cant wait. She was so pretty, the dress fit her so nice. miss her so much now.

Then we had to head back to my house for me to change then go out for lunch. It was a bit of a rush as her looks has drain out all my energy n we are really hungry for lunch. before getting home to wait for sy to arrive.

On our way to sunway, we had to by pass 1U for a silly turning mistake i make. and therefore wasted lots of petrol, time n tolls. i had been doing that each time i tried to get to west of KL. really have to get that jinx off. but anyway, we still have arrive to our place, sunway pyramid. never been there for ages. the new sight n so on. its really a big change to the things around east KL. one of the best technologies there will b the parking. go there n have a look urself.

We continue our plan. watch terminator then go for dinner to wait for the office traffic to cool off, before heading. then we decide to go a famouse italy restaurant(dont know how to spell it :p) wanted for quite some time. but never dare to go into it.

I am really in a rush now. continue later on. hehe...

Waiting again

Haih, have to wait again. How much i would like to be at home so much more now. It is really not the time for me to be in this lab anymore. feel like its for the new generation to do the the job and for me to be back home :p.

Anyway i'll be on my way to Malaka next week :) . then on my way home with my parents. this might be one of the last time me meeting my cousins together. so making it there will meant a lot to me. Hopefully i can make it there without too much struggle.

About the last post, i hv already make up my mind on what i hv to do. I'll be bringing the project back home and hopefully make full use of the time given. i have already prepare the parts that could be taken home. So good luck to me.

Arh... but really wish not to bring it back. then can do others things back home :p .

And don't worry, i am already use to that room for now. At least i know i'll be there only awhile more, yay^^.

And i am so happy, at last she have finish her exam this semester. Can't wait to spend some time with her again. Hopefully she will be happy to have me around.

Thats all i think. really don't know what to blog. so just post something while waiting.
p.s. still waiting....

Scary dream go away

This morning, i had a scariest dream ever. 1st of all, it was just about reversing the cars from a parking lot to get back home of sth. but then in the car, there were a package of books. i was curious of that, therefore i went to look at one by one.

It was kind of irritating looking at the books. it was books with ghostly cover picture on it. it was not nice to look at, but it shouldn't scare me.

What really scare me was the time i open my eyes. I was in a new room. In a new block. in a new environment. Shock by the moment, i close my eyes. All that i can feel was the wind by the fan blowing, my heart pumping, and feeling the heat building up under the blanket.

I don't know what to think. There was no roommate. no one by my side. i wish that there could be someone by my side. my parents, brothers, or friends. i try to calm myself down by saying prayers, it didn't help too much as i forgot the words.

Then i begin to turn my body from side to side slowly, opening my eyes slowly, looking around slowly. wanting everything is fine. Luckily, i fall back to sleep again.

The next time i open my eyes was already 9+am. time to wake up. time to get moving.

Being back in uni make me miss home so much more. I do not really want to continue doing fell time here. its just too pressuring myself. I know this will be the shortest stint here. but i had been asked for a favor. to help develop a new device. which only i used before. What should i say? should i continue to do it? my field is totally nothing to do with this, but the expirence will be something useful in the future.

So, what should i say?

So Happen?

so happen, I just got up from my 30 min nap then try out the computer, and there i was online!!! Cool right?

Tmr is my final paper. then is time to rush back to join my friends in competition. Now they are all in the stadium, looking at others robot. since yesterday i been trying to keep in contact with my team on the progress. and it seem the team that we are worry of is still very strong. They might be faster then my team.

Never the less, is not the time to be scare now, i am really eager to challenge them now. i know my team is as well prepare as it could be. Although not faster, but well prepare at least. Hopefully this will be the time we are going to be champion again.

Back here, i am more ready to be in KL now compare then being in my room, with the roommate i been talking about. I got up quite early today, pack my things and finish doing by 9am. Only the wash cloths are still not pack. and by 2pm all was in the beg and went for a short nap. Then i notice i was able to get on the internet.

So what else to do but to share it. Today i kind of hot. i had shower twice already. maybe going for a third soon. Hope to be going back KL soon^^. Miss all of u there.

Early Morning call

Today, i had only 5hour plus slept. because i slept around 3.30am last night. I didn't want to wake up early but i had to force myself to do so. Only because i promise a friend of mine to look for a lecturer together. So I didn't it as i can but only to wake up 15 min late. At least i did.

Although it was quite early, but our lecturer was not in his room. So we had waited there for him. While waiting, i only then realise how badly the paper was mark. Initially i only score 21/50 which i think its impossible. Then waiting get longer. As we were about to leave, There light shine, there he is.

Then, he asked, and then told us he was about to leave to KL.(1st what about my paper?, 2nd can i follow?, Haha, those never come out of me) then he told us to do the correction, he will check it later. And guess what, I was suppose to score 41/50. See the different. haih...

I guess i might be lucky to look for him at last. P.s i called his few weeks ago when i knew my mark, be he told me my paper was missing. I was really angry that time. The person that took it should had distribute it the 1st moment. Then i'll had look for him weeks ago.

Thursday will be the final for his subject. so lets hope i can recall everything.

Roommate again

Sigh... Don't know what to say about him, he didn't lock the room door again last night, but at least he off the light. But the way he sleep without the mattress. haih... don't know what to say about him.

But during the night he somehow, put down his mattress and on his side light. Sigh... Damn disturbing. Luckily i only notice it in the morning, when the sun shine is out.

But it bring another problem to me, because his curtain is open, The sun is directed to my bed and not his. Plus it was like a heater under my blanket, and i hv to close it up myself.

Anyway it will be the last 2 weeks having him in the room. Hahaha...

But T.T, i still do not have a roommate for next semester. The random pick will be quite interesting. Unlike my course mate, all having selected their roommate. haih...T_T

Exam Week

Exam week has finally arrive. Robocon will surely receive a slowdown effect. For me, i am not feeling the exam yet. all i want to is to finish the competition and then be back at home for a long long rest. i know it will all be that way by middle May.

To all that are going through exam period good luck, others stay healthy.

P.s I just got a hair cut yesterday. At least i am feeling much much comfortable(not being disturb by the hair"long and hot").

Bk to study. Take care

Demo 5

Last night Demo 5 just ended(My Robocon Team showing section to seniors and lecturers). It was the 1st time i heard confident praise from the lecturers. Nothing like i heard before this(since i join last year). But at least i experience it.

I didn't feel it was special. For me it just seem as there are so much to do that i am worry we do not have enough time to complete it. The feeling is not like last year competition. it just feel like there are much much more trouble compare to last year.

Time now feels much more relaxing compare to a month ago. Is it because of the super hard work during that period? I really have no idea. but i just know that in me is that there is still not time to relax until the competition arrive.(or i am saying this because i went back last week, at least i knew it did bring back the energy in me.

Darling, thanks for being here for me. KG thanks for reading my blog and commenting on it. At least i feel better. P.s i just found out u had a blog too. I'll be there looking at it. hehe...

Burger

Food, my favorite topic. heh... Burger, is 2 slide of bread with the meat in between it. I just had one 'Burger Ayam Special(BAS)' for yesterday supper. it was so nice to the taste bud. Just wonderful, the egg around the burger. Especially with the mayonnaise in it. Just wonderful.(better than chocolate).

Although BAS is good. i still like to have extra ingredient. Cheese is a great addition to it, the smooth unique taste will enhance the burger attraction. Compare to the burger from MacDonald, i prefer local burger with all those special taste. anyway i like it.

I also tried one with black-pepper sauce on it. it was like the sauce was meant to be there. The taste just blend nicely together.

One day, i might just try it with Bagua'Grill means pork'. Just wonder how it would taste like. hehe...

But what is all this taste without anyone to share it together. So any booking?

2 Manual Ready for Action

Wow, i had fun programming them. dont know why, but a manual robot seem funner to program. At least we have the best feed back and best control source we can get(human). Maybe because i am use to programing, therefore its easier for me to change a manual program.

The team has 3 manual robots, and i am proud to say i am involve in programming all three all them. although, i am more like a sub and adviser. but i am trying to make sure they are getting it right for the team to win.

oh, if you are asking, where are the picture. Please be patient, i'll post it as soon as the competition ends. its a promise.

This morning

I only slept at 5.30 this morning & woke up around 12.30. its been exactly the same the pass 3 days.

The previous 2 days was bcoz of training while yesterday i wanted to complete converting the program. At least its done now. Tonight will be some fine tuning then i should be able to hv my early sleep.

Tmr will hv a demo. So how everything goes depends on training tonight. Lets hope things go well.

Darling, sorry for sleeping late. i promise not to do that after i finish this project. Love u..

Hungry Stomach

I am so hungry. but all i hv now is my friends bread in front of me. He was suppose to ta pau for me. but somehow they forget to buy it. sigh...

What to do? bread for lunch.

Later i'll go for a big dinner. i want to have a big big dinner. no matter what happen. just to fill up my set back of a good lunch.

So lets get planning on what to eat for dinner while eating bread for lunch.

No golden moment

This week is a study week. but now still do not have much mood to study. sigh... My main concentration should be on robocon, there are still lots of preparation to be done b4 going for the competition. And hopefully i can go Japan with the team for winning this year competition.

Moment around is kind of dull now. Problem are still arising. but there was once a saying problem also meant half-solve. So i guess its a good thing??

My darling, i read you blog. i really wish i do have more time to spend with you. I only have free time during certain period and i really do not know when is it. and its going to bcom less until the end of competition. So time is really not on my side now. My darling, you are always in my heart, although i am busy. Love u always sweetheart.

And i guess i have to spend my other time preparing for my final. my result this time had drop quite alot. good luck to myself.

Lets hope the golden moment will come soon.

Inspiring Words of Wisdom

“When a distinguished and elderly scientist says something is possible, he is almost certainly correct; when he says something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.” - Arthur C. Clarke -

”The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” - Albert Einstein -

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself” - Leo Tolstoy -

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - JFK -

"People and their managers are working so hard to be sure things are done right, that they have hardly have time to decide if they are doing the right things." - Steven Covey -

"You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives."

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln -

"The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live." - Norman Cousins -

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." - Benjamin Disraeli -

Time

Time is
Too slow for those who want,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is not.
- Henry Van Dyke -

Roommate

Lets talk about my roommate. Last semester, its still ok. but this year, he is kind of (very)weird.

1. 90% of the time he never off the lights when he sleep
2. 10% of the time he never lock the door.
3. 90% he sleep with his computer music on.(its very annoying, especially is one song for one night)
4. 90% his computer lights is disturbing my sleep.
5. Everyday i hv to off his study lights before i sleep.
6. He sleep half way studying.(books on the bed and etc)
7. His rubbish is all around the room.
8. He never clean the room.
9. He jump around the room when he see cockroach.(how not to see when the room is so messy).
10. He is very stubborn.(not open minded)

But what to do now. For next semester, i still do not have a roommate. Hope the random choice will give me someone better.

Back to Routine

So far nothing much has change. there are still changes to go on the robots. operators are selected and we are still working till late after mid-night.

But after returning from KL, i am feeling much more relax and calm. At least i know everyone will be busy soon. So, good luck to all.

Tmr i'll hoping to help finalize the programming of 2 of the robots. So lets hope they prepare the tools to do so.

My sweetheart, I still miss the time being with you. just want to be with you more.

That all i guess for today. Just hope that the consistency will be 100% soon. Wish my team luck la^^

p.s i really need a bath soon and a hair cut soon. training is starting soon.

Refresh and Re-energise

This week was a great week after a long long time. I actually sneak back from school and left my robocon team and final replacement class of the semester back in the uni. Not that I hate those, but its like ‘Its great to be back’ kind of feeling (I know this phase is use by villain in cartoons :p ). And the feeling is really very great. Especially with YLin free to accompany the whole period back.
But if not because of Chee Hoe and Zhi Sien I don’t think I would be back. Heh…

My sweetheart, I am sorry to leave you alone back at KL again. I promise to be back soon again. I enjoyed all the time you spend with me, can’t wait for the next time to be back. Oh, about the hand phone, I need some time to save for a new one. So for the time being I’ll still have to be patient with the phone as I do to this computer.

Mad-Scientist, I am sorry I didn’t inform any of you this time I came back, but I really wanted to spend some time with YLin first, its been a long time since I gone back. I promise to look for u guys the next time. And to all of you, good luck in your final exams, WH and CCM one ending soon and KY and KG starting soon.

KG, if u really think we can start our Mad-Scientist blog then let me know. I would love to join in too. But wish it won’t die off like the friendster group :p.

For this coming month, my concentration will be back to the usual two things. Final Examination and Preparation for the upcoming Robocon 2009 contest. Both of them I am very worry of. This semester, my course marks seem relatively low compare in the class, I have not been concentrating much on it. While, the Robocon team progress has been kind of slow and lazy. Although both I have confident in doing well, but mistake will surely cause trouble to the team and me. So I guess elimation those mistake will be priority in my mind.

To everyone else, good luck. I promise to do my best too. Lets work hard together. It’s the year of an ox, and hey usually work hard. So lets us all work hard together.

PLim, 12 April 2009(1.39pm)

Tension and Pressure

This few days, i must be overly overload myself. I am so lost. My robocon team has been so hard that there is hardly time for others things. then there is a person in my life, which i really want to get involve to help.

I dont know what can i do, we are so so far apart. She has been happy one day then not for the next few days. then there is the stupid me, who really want to know everything about it. It all begin last week, when a friend of her told her about his feeling. Nothing has been right since then.

This now are complicated for me, i had been wanting to help. cheer her up or just to share her feeling. but i fail, i am just so disappointed on myself. after all this year, i am still...

I know she has lost a friend for now, he might still be friends after that. but i it wont be that easy. Especially they wont stay in contact as usual anymore. My energy is falling apart, i cant even get her to talk to me. I can't cry nor i cant stop. My team needs all the man power they can get and i need her.

in less then 48 hour will be competition time. i can't concentrate.

What is there for me to do? I don't even understand the situation. I agree that i am selfish. but how can i understand when i don't know the problem.

There are many question in my mind,
Did she really want him?
Is she going to choose him if not bcoz of me?
Or she just dont want to loss that friend?
I do not want to know it part, but i want to know it in full.( which is impossible )
I dont want to hide my feeling, its suffering.
I dont want you to know it, its suffering.
So dont read it.

Now, i hate myself so so so much. am i so bad that i didn't give her that chance??
nor i am so bad that i should had disallow it to happen.
but how can i do it?
she likes talking to him, for long hours. I am too busy.
should i cancide myself so she do not need to choose.

Today i type this, without expectation that things will improve anytime soon. she seem serious that she don't want to be disturb by anyone. But each time i tell myself that i'll continue worry that she will leave me.

Ever since the time she start telling me about him. the way he held her hands, the time he has been calling her in the night, the amount of time spent on the phone with him. one especially when he told her he did not dare to talk to me. it was so obvious.

Lets just stop that, my mood is very down now. I want someone to talk too. at this time, i dont know who to talk to anymore.

just for your information, tension is the opposite of pressure. tension is cause by the pulling of a object while pressure is the pressing of a object.

Tomorrow, when you read this, there is a feeling in me that what i hope from this will never happen. NEVER!!!!!!
Its so heart-brokening to know that. That hurts so so so much.
So just take care. we wwill be in contact soon.

P.s i never mind that you calling me anytime. and i really wish i could chat each time you call. Bye...(how should i use the word forever now, please just be strong )

Crapps

I just crap some huge rubbish which just hurt me. There are someone, my sweetheart, who is feeling very disturb the pass few days.

I want to to the problem, but i am too far to help now. i am physically and emotionally disturb too.

I wish to have someone reading my mind and keeping it a secret for me. I need to concentrate now. be i am feeling hard to get my mind to it.

Sweetheart, please forgive me. i am being selfish. for not giving u a chance to be with others. I really dont want to be left alone.
I love you.

Alright, i have wasted my hold day. sorry for not able to let you know more.

I promise there will be more. after i am done with this project where my interest is going away from. Its a nice team, be i cannot take it for a longer period. :)