This week was a great week after a long long time. I actually sneak back from school and left my robocon team and final replacement class of the semester back in the uni. Not that I hate those, but its like ‘Its great to be back’ kind of feeling (I know this phase is use by villain in cartoons :p ). And the feeling is really very great. Especially with YLin free to accompany the whole period back.
But if not because of Chee Hoe and Zhi Sien I don’t think I would be back. Heh…
My sweetheart, I am sorry to leave you alone back at KL again. I promise to be back soon again. I enjoyed all the time you spend with me, can’t wait for the next time to be back. Oh, about the hand phone, I need some time to save for a new one. So for the time being I’ll still have to be patient with the phone as I do to this computer.
Mad-Scientist, I am sorry I didn’t inform any of you this time I came back, but I really wanted to spend some time with YLin first, its been a long time since I gone back. I promise to look for u guys the next time. And to all of you, good luck in your final exams, WH and CCM one ending soon and KY and KG starting soon.
KG, if u really think we can start our Mad-Scientist blog then let me know. I would love to join in too. But wish it won’t die off like the friendster group :p.
For this coming month, my concentration will be back to the usual two things. Final Examination and Preparation for the upcoming Robocon 2009 contest. Both of them I am very worry of. This semester, my course marks seem relatively low compare in the class, I have not been concentrating much on it. While, the Robocon team progress has been kind of slow and lazy. Although both I have confident in doing well, but mistake will surely cause trouble to the team and me. So I guess elimation those mistake will be priority in my mind.
To everyone else, good luck. I promise to do my best too. Lets work hard together. It’s the year of an ox, and hey usually work hard. So lets us all work hard together.
PLim, 12 April 2009(1.39pm)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Tension and Pressure
This few days, i must be overly overload myself. I am so lost. My robocon team has been so hard that there is hardly time for others things. then there is a person in my life, which i really want to get involve to help.
I dont know what can i do, we are so so far apart. She has been happy one day then not for the next few days. then there is the stupid me, who really want to know everything about it. It all begin last week, when a friend of her told her about his feeling. Nothing has been right since then.
This now are complicated for me, i had been wanting to help. cheer her up or just to share her feeling. but i fail, i am just so disappointed on myself. after all this year, i am still...
I know she has lost a friend for now, he might still be friends after that. but i it wont be that easy. Especially they wont stay in contact as usual anymore. My energy is falling apart, i cant even get her to talk to me. I can't cry nor i cant stop. My team needs all the man power they can get and i need her.
in less then 48 hour will be competition time. i can't concentrate.
What is there for me to do? I don't even understand the situation. I agree that i am selfish. but how can i understand when i don't know the problem.
There are many question in my mind,
Did she really want him?
Is she going to choose him if not bcoz of me?
Or she just dont want to loss that friend?
I do not want to know it part, but i want to know it in full.( which is impossible )
I dont want to hide my feeling, its suffering.
I dont want you to know it, its suffering.
So dont read it.
Now, i hate myself so so so much. am i so bad that i didn't give her that chance??
nor i am so bad that i should had disallow it to happen.
but how can i do it?
she likes talking to him, for long hours. I am too busy.
should i cancide myself so she do not need to choose.
Today i type this, without expectation that things will improve anytime soon. she seem serious that she don't want to be disturb by anyone. But each time i tell myself that i'll continue worry that she will leave me.
Ever since the time she start telling me about him. the way he held her hands, the time he has been calling her in the night, the amount of time spent on the phone with him. one especially when he told her he did not dare to talk to me. it was so obvious.
Lets just stop that, my mood is very down now. I want someone to talk too. at this time, i dont know who to talk to anymore.
just for your information, tension is the opposite of pressure. tension is cause by the pulling of a object while pressure is the pressing of a object.
Tomorrow, when you read this, there is a feeling in me that what i hope from this will never happen. NEVER!!!!!!
Its so heart-brokening to know that. That hurts so so so much.
So just take care. we wwill be in contact soon.
P.s i never mind that you calling me anytime. and i really wish i could chat each time you call. Bye...(how should i use the word forever now, please just be strong )
I dont know what can i do, we are so so far apart. She has been happy one day then not for the next few days. then there is the stupid me, who really want to know everything about it. It all begin last week, when a friend of her told her about his feeling. Nothing has been right since then.
This now are complicated for me, i had been wanting to help. cheer her up or just to share her feeling. but i fail, i am just so disappointed on myself. after all this year, i am still...
I know she has lost a friend for now, he might still be friends after that. but i it wont be that easy. Especially they wont stay in contact as usual anymore. My energy is falling apart, i cant even get her to talk to me. I can't cry nor i cant stop. My team needs all the man power they can get and i need her.
in less then 48 hour will be competition time. i can't concentrate.
What is there for me to do? I don't even understand the situation. I agree that i am selfish. but how can i understand when i don't know the problem.
There are many question in my mind,
Did she really want him?
Is she going to choose him if not bcoz of me?
Or she just dont want to loss that friend?
I do not want to know it part, but i want to know it in full.( which is impossible )
I dont want to hide my feeling, its suffering.
I dont want you to know it, its suffering.
So dont read it.
Now, i hate myself so so so much. am i so bad that i didn't give her that chance??
nor i am so bad that i should had disallow it to happen.
but how can i do it?
she likes talking to him, for long hours. I am too busy.
should i cancide myself so she do not need to choose.
Today i type this, without expectation that things will improve anytime soon. she seem serious that she don't want to be disturb by anyone. But each time i tell myself that i'll continue worry that she will leave me.
Ever since the time she start telling me about him. the way he held her hands, the time he has been calling her in the night, the amount of time spent on the phone with him. one especially when he told her he did not dare to talk to me. it was so obvious.
Lets just stop that, my mood is very down now. I want someone to talk too. at this time, i dont know who to talk to anymore.
just for your information, tension is the opposite of pressure. tension is cause by the pulling of a object while pressure is the pressing of a object.
Tomorrow, when you read this, there is a feeling in me that what i hope from this will never happen. NEVER!!!!!!
Its so heart-brokening to know that. That hurts so so so much.
So just take care. we wwill be in contact soon.
P.s i never mind that you calling me anytime. and i really wish i could chat each time you call. Bye...(how should i use the word forever now, please just be strong )
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Crapps
I just crap some huge rubbish which just hurt me. There are someone, my sweetheart, who is feeling very disturb the pass few days.
I want to to the problem, but i am too far to help now. i am physically and emotionally disturb too.
I wish to have someone reading my mind and keeping it a secret for me. I need to concentrate now. be i am feeling hard to get my mind to it.
Sweetheart, please forgive me. i am being selfish. for not giving u a chance to be with others. I really dont want to be left alone.
I love you.
Alright, i have wasted my hold day. sorry for not able to let you know more.
I promise there will be more. after i am done with this project where my interest is going away from. Its a nice team, be i cannot take it for a longer period. :)
I want to to the problem, but i am too far to help now. i am physically and emotionally disturb too.
I wish to have someone reading my mind and keeping it a secret for me. I need to concentrate now. be i am feeling hard to get my mind to it.
Sweetheart, please forgive me. i am being selfish. for not giving u a chance to be with others. I really dont want to be left alone.
I love you.
Alright, i have wasted my hold day. sorry for not able to let you know more.
I promise there will be more. after i am done with this project where my interest is going away from. Its a nice team, be i cannot take it for a longer period. :)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Feeling so sad
For the pass month. i was on my robocon mission again. but this time as a senior.
But so far, i am such a burden to the others. u have not develope much for the team.
I have been lazy to start moving
I always hope that someone else will do things for me.
I take things too simple.
I kill others idea.
I online too much.
I wanted to stay back with my course mate too much.
I wanted to relax more.
I though there were a lot of time.
I have no inspiration.
I wanted to stop.
I want to be back home.
I hate to be myself.
I want people to talk to.
Its been a long time i have not been home. I want to go back v v much. There is too much things to put it down for me to just go back.
i have not been studying, not been doing my work, not been concentrating in class, not been doing anything.
I want to be away from things, be back home, be around my family n friends.
time here is getting harder n harder. There is nothing such as enjoying life here.
i don't like to be pressure, i don't want to feel pressure. I really want to enjoy life.
With robocon, outside work life, n time at class. Nothing is at a right place now.
I wish i can get a compremise with all the things. Next up will be final examination and holiday on robocon.
I wont be back home much again. i feel sorry to my family and my sweetheart. I want to be going back. but at the mean time, there is other things i have to commit to.
I promise i'll go home. I will go back. I miss home
But so far, i am such a burden to the others. u have not develope much for the team.
I have been lazy to start moving
I always hope that someone else will do things for me.
I take things too simple.
I kill others idea.
I online too much.
I wanted to stay back with my course mate too much.
I wanted to relax more.
I though there were a lot of time.
I have no inspiration.
I wanted to stop.
I want to be back home.
I hate to be myself.
I want people to talk to.
Its been a long time i have not been home. I want to go back v v much. There is too much things to put it down for me to just go back.
i have not been studying, not been doing my work, not been concentrating in class, not been doing anything.
I want to be away from things, be back home, be around my family n friends.
time here is getting harder n harder. There is nothing such as enjoying life here.
i don't like to be pressure, i don't want to feel pressure. I really want to enjoy life.
With robocon, outside work life, n time at class. Nothing is at a right place now.
I wish i can get a compremise with all the things. Next up will be final examination and holiday on robocon.
I wont be back home much again. i feel sorry to my family and my sweetheart. I want to be going back. but at the mean time, there is other things i have to commit to.
I promise i'll go home. I will go back. I miss home
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Best of them all
It was just suppose to be a brithday gathering. An early one to comprimise my brithday that fall on friday next week. But i can tell it was a special one i have been waiting for. Other then the time mess up, everything else just fall onto place.
I was very surprise when i knew my mum made the key, i really haven't got a clue, including the 21 sign on it, it was just special.
With my sweetheart around all the time, it just make me being more comfortable. She is so beautiful, with her very pretty smile. I can never forget that smile in my mind, its mine, it will be always mine.
This was the first time i invited my friends to join my family for an occasion, i never know why, but i know my parents never ask much about my friends or mention anything, i am use to it, but i like introducing them to my parents. I just have the feeling my parents will like it.
To be honest i am not bug by who was unable to attend the dinner, i just one to cherish this day.
And for the presents, it was a real surprise when i open the 1st three with the same type, name wallet. The 1st one was from my friend ChooiYi and ShookYi, i knew it 1st sight when i saw they attach a cute touch light key chain beside it, then the 2nd one was aunty Max present, i remember the beg she gave along and the third one was from my Ee maggi, i remembered she told my mum to keep it aside, i know why was it now :). Then i open Ee Lina and the boys present, at that moment i thought it was another wallet, lucky me it was a belt. and the biggest present came from Wei Hau, it was a decoration Lamp, it is unique from the others, but it was really lovely.
What touch me the most was all the message attach with the present, its really really beautiful.
It make me thinking, i never really thought of always giving frineds a present, it never came to my mind before. But now i know,its really special when i recieve a present, so i should be doing the same. It take an effort to be able to buy something, but it will make the occasion more worth while.
I would like to say thanks to all of you.
I was very surprise when i knew my mum made the key, i really haven't got a clue, including the 21 sign on it, it was just special.
With my sweetheart around all the time, it just make me being more comfortable. She is so beautiful, with her very pretty smile. I can never forget that smile in my mind, its mine, it will be always mine.
This was the first time i invited my friends to join my family for an occasion, i never know why, but i know my parents never ask much about my friends or mention anything, i am use to it, but i like introducing them to my parents. I just have the feeling my parents will like it.
To be honest i am not bug by who was unable to attend the dinner, i just one to cherish this day.
And for the presents, it was a real surprise when i open the 1st three with the same type, name wallet. The 1st one was from my friend ChooiYi and ShookYi, i knew it 1st sight when i saw they attach a cute touch light key chain beside it, then the 2nd one was aunty Max present, i remember the beg she gave along and the third one was from my Ee maggi, i remembered she told my mum to keep it aside, i know why was it now :). Then i open Ee Lina and the boys present, at that moment i thought it was another wallet, lucky me it was a belt. and the biggest present came from Wei Hau, it was a decoration Lamp, it is unique from the others, but it was really lovely.
What touch me the most was all the message attach with the present, its really really beautiful.
It make me thinking, i never really thought of always giving frineds a present, it never came to my mind before. But now i know,its really special when i recieve a present, so i should be doing the same. It take an effort to be able to buy something, but it will make the occasion more worth while.
I would like to say thanks to all of you.
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